A man fell into a pit and couldn't get himself out. He called for help...
A SUBJECTIVE person came along and said: "I feel for you, down there."
An OBJECTIVE person came along and said: "It's logical that someone would fall down there."
A CHRISTIAN SCIENTIST came along: "You only think that you are in a pit."
A PHARISEE said: "Only bad people fall into a pit."
A MATHEMATICIAN calculated how he fell into a pit.
A NEWS-REPORTER wanted the exclusive story on his pit
A YOGI said: "Your pit is only a state of mind.:
A REALIST said: "Now THAT'S a pit."
A SCIENTIST calculated the pressure necessary (kg/sq. m) to get him out of the pit
A GEOLOGIST told him to appreciate the rock strata in the pit
An EVOLUTIONIST said: "You are a rejected mutant destined to be removed from the evolutionary cycle." In other words, he is going to die in the pit, so that he cannot produce any 'pit-falling off spring.'"
The PROPERTY-TAX DEPARTMENT asked if he was paying taxes on the pit.
The PUBLIC WORKS DEPARTMENT asked if he had a permit to dig a pit.
A PROFESSOR gave him a lecture on: "The elementary principles of the pit."
An EVASIVE person came along and avowed the subject of his pit altogether.
A SELF-PITYING person said: "You haven't seen anything until you've seen MY pit!"
An Optimist said: "Things could have been worse."
A PESSIMIST said: "Things will get worse!!"
A FUNDAMENTALIST said: "You deserve your pit."
A CHARISMATIC said: "just confess you're not in the pit."
AN EVANGELICAL said: "You should be saved from the pit."
JESUS, seeing the man, took him by the hand and lifted him out of the pit"