JOURNEY OF HOPE... Healing and Forgiveness
Fr Scott Brossart Solt
Tools for Healing and Forgiveness . . .
I find that the deeper the wounds, the longer it is to heal and recover. Most literally have layers and layers of wounds... some are still fresh, while other wounds have become hardened over. I liken the process of healing to pealing layer after of an onion. The outside is really hard but once you begin to peal away the layers, you begin finding softer layers... and eventually you find a really soft center. The journey of healing and forgiveness is a journey to peal back the layers and get to the center of our being where there is no more pain... just a soft center where we can be loved again and learn to love others.
There is also great hope in this journey, because once we begin to recognize what the wounds (the layers) are, that we no longer want to walk in the darkness, we are already on the journey to recovery and if we begin... we WILL eventually be set completely free.
We can't just jump in and expect the pain and suffering to be gone overnight. It takes a lot of time and patience. It is like peeling back layer after layer of our life to eventually get to the point where we can open up and seek healing and to forgive those who have hurt us and recognize and make amends with those we have hurt along the road to recovery.
I will take you step by step through the journey I have gone through and hopefully others will be brave enough to share their journey as well so we all can grow in healing together
In order to let go of the pain unleashed upon us in life, we need to let go first of the anger and resentment we have been holding onto that eats away at us little by little like a poison. We need to take a step in Forgiving those who have hurt us. This won't be easy, and we really won't want to at first, but we can no longer hold on to the darkness and pain that unforgiveness causes. We need to start letting it go... Holding onto to unforgiveness is literally and really the reason why we have stopped the process of healing. We have allowed our wounds to become hardened. This prayer of forgiveness may be really difficult at first, but the more you pray it, the more you will begin to feel the hard layers becoming softened so that you will be ready to be healed.
Think of unforgiveness like a cork... and if you put a cork in the middle of a fresh wound that is deep what will happen? The wound will NEVER heal... the wound will harden over the cork and won't heal until the cork is removed. This prayer is to begin the process of letting go of that cork so we can open ourselves up again to the healing process.
Begin by praying this prayer of forgiveness every day. It will slowly work on your heart, taking down wall after wall that we have allowed to build up and the walls will eventually crumble. It will take time, but don't give up. It may take a month or even years before we are ready to let go completely but it will happen if we work on it slowly every day... little by little... according to what we can handle.
THE FORGIVENESS PRAYER
by Fr. Robert DeGrandis
Lord Jesus Christ, I ask today to forgive everyone in my life. I know that You will give me strength to forgive and I thank You that You love me more than I love myself and want my happiness more than I desire it for myself.
Lord Jesus, I want to be free from the feelings of resentment, bitterness, and unforgiveness toward You for the times I thought You sent death, hardships, financial difficulties, punishments and sickness into our family.
Lord, I forgive myself for my sins, faults and failings. For all that is truly bad in myself or all that I think is bad, I do forgive myself. For any delvings in the occult; Ouija boards, horoscopes, seances, fortune telling, lucky charms, for taking Your name in vain, for not worshiping You, for hurting my parents, for getting drunk, for taking dope, for sins against my purity, for adultery, for abortion, for stealing, for lying. I am truly forgiving myself today. Thank you, Lord, for Your grace at this moment.
I truly forgive my mother. I forgive her for all the times she hurt me, resented me, was angry with me and for all the times she punished me. I forgive her for the times she preferred my brothers and sisters to me. I forgive her for the times she told me I was dumb, ugly, stupid, the worst of the children or that I cost the family a lot of money. For the times she told me I was unwanted, an accident, a mistake or not what she expected, I forgive her.
I forgive my father. I forgive him for any nonsupport, any lack of love, affection or attention. I forgive him for any lack of time, for not giving me his companionship, for his drinking or arguing and fighting with my mother or the other children. For his severe punishments, for desertion, for being away from home, for divorcing my mother or for any running around, I do forgive him.
Lord, I extend forgiveness to my sisters and brothers. I forgive those who rejected me, lied about me, hated me, resented me, and competed for my parents' love, those who hurt me, who physically harmed me. For those who were too severe on me, punished me or made my life unpleasant in any way, I do forgive them.
Lord, I forgive my spouse for lack of love, affection, consideration, support, attention, communications, for faults, failings, weaknesses and those other acts or words that hurt or disturb me.
Jesus, I forgive my children for their lack of respect, obedience, love, attention, support, warmth, understanding, their bad habits, falling away from the church and bad actions which disturb me.
My God, I forgive my in-laws, mother, father, son or daughter-in-law and other relatives by marriage. For their lack of love, words of criticism, thoughts, actions or omissions that injure and cause pain, I do forgive them.
Please help me to forgive my relatives, my grandmother and grandfather who may have interfered in our family, been possessive or my parents, who may have caused confusion or turned one parent against the other.
Jesus, help me to forgive my co-workers who are disagreeable or make life miserable for me. For those who push their work off on me, gossip about me, won't cooperate with me, try to take my job, I do forgive them.
My neighbors need to be forgiven, Lord. For all their noise, letting their property run down, not tying up their dogs who run through my yard, not taking in their trashcans, being prejudiced and running down the neighborhood, I do forgive them.
I now forgive my clergyman, my congregation and my church for all their lack of support, pettiness, bad sermons, lack of friendliness, not affirming me as they should, not providing me with inspiration, for not using me in a key position, for not inviting me to serve in a major capacity and for any other hurt they have inflicted. I do forgive them today.
Lord, I forgive all professional people who have hurt me in any way: doctors, lawyers, policemen, hospital workers, for the things that they did to me, I truly forgive them today.
Lord, I forgive my employer for not paying me enough money, for not appreciating my work, for being unkind and unreasonable with me, for being angry or unfriendly, for not promoting me and for not complimenting me on my work.
Lord, I forgive my schoolteachers and instructors of the past, as well as the present. For those who punished me, humiliated me, insulted me, treated me unjustly, made fun of me, called me dumb or stupid, made me stay after school.
Lord, I forgive my friends who have let me down, lost contact with me, do not support me, were not available when I needed help, borrowed money and did not return it, gossiped about me.
Lord Jesus, I especially pray for the grace of forgiveness for that one person in life who has hurt me the most. I ask to forgive anyone who I consider my greatest enemy; the one who is the hardest to forgive or the one who I said I would never forgive.
Thank You, Jesus, that I am free of the evil of unforgiveness. Let Your Holy Spirit fill me with light and let every dark area of my mind be enlightened.