Saints We Love

Sunday, March 6, 2011

More Than You Ever Wanted to Know about Newspapers - and were terrified to ask


I do not know what genius is responsible for this.  It is out there circulating in the emails.  I did see a lot of truth here and I wanted to share it with anyone who has a good sense of humor and pray you are not offended.  

All about Newspapers 

"A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes."
— Mark Twain 

Here's how to keep all that political 'news' in perspective...

1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who own the country.

2. The Washington Post is read by people who run the country.

3. The New York Times is read by people who think they run the country and who are very good at crossword puzzles.

4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't really understand The New York Times. They do, however, like their statistics shown in pie charts.

5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the country, if they could find the time -- and if they didn't have to leave Southern California to do it.

6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country and did a poor job of it, thank you very much.

7. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who is running the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.

8. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country, but need the baseball scores.

9. The St. Louis Post-Dispatch is read by people who want only the score of the Cardinals game. They drink Budweiser, Budweiser, and -- wait a minute -- what was the question?

10. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure if there is a country or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped minority feminist atheist dwarfs who also happen to be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy, provided of course, that they are not Republicans.

11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store.

12. The Seattle Times is read by people who have recently caught a fish and need something to wrap it in. 

(...something tells me this was written by a Seattle resident who is not entirely happy with the state of journalism there...)

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