"How Are You Doing?" - On Missing Tom

How Are You Doing"

By Terry Fenwick

Dear Friends, most of who always ask, "How are You doing?"
               

I wrote this about missing Tom to someone and thought you might like it. Thought to share this with you - a bit of my heart.

I wrote:

I miss him most in the kitchen! Can you imagine that? I miss dancing with him or seeing him dance by to some great music - I wrote a note to Buddy Greco telling him I played Call Me Irresponsible (his recording is the best) in the kitchen and pretended that I was dancing with Tom - then I got my Dance Like a Lamb sculpture (see attached) and now I am not as lonely. The lamb is named Macintosh MacMoses.

Another thing I miss is he also used to say at least 5 days a week, "Do you have any idea how much I love you?" I REALLY miss that! Who wouldn't miss that? He always kissed me in the pantry - I really miss that. He was the most romantic kisser in the world. (We have always had a home with a pantry! isn't that grand?)

Forty-six (46!!!!) years with such a nice man - great dancer, great kisser, gentleman and lover. Our anniversary is this weekend, October 15. I wish I could just fly to NY and pretend he was there at the Barclay. I was cleaning my closet the other day and found a handbag I had used for our going away honeymoon trip 46 years ago - one I had saved all these years - had not carried for almost 45 1/2 years for sure. Nothing in it BUT a small card - I had asked Tom to hold my bag as it was good leather and I did not want to take it into the powder room - we had done Fifth Avenue in New York - and we were at Saks Fifth Avenue shopping and looking at a dress I had seen on the back of a theater program for Bye Bye Birdie - with Dick Van Dyke - that weekend or the day before. Aren't memories nice? The card I found? Well it was 'just' a simple Saks Fifth Avenue card that became a "treasure" as the man I miss, Tom, wrote this - simply this: "I love you today in New York City. October 18, 1960" Thomas C. Fenwick

What a treasure that is. The first week we were married he wrote that and then again the last thing he wrote to me was, on the note he left me for Mother's Day (with the white roses that have been dried and to be bookmarks) was:
"my companion and my lover
I love you"

Who could ask for more than that? How much more wonderful can it be? Forty six (46!!!!) years almost and he still said the same thing. Isn't that totally lovely? That's the same man who wrote to me in Saks Fifth Avenue on our honeymoon. 

Who said love doesn't last?

I think I feel like I need to revisit some places. I am not sad - just seems like I have a lot of holes shot in my body. Strange thing. It may be the age - it may be the number of years we shared - it may be that I have no responsibilities that I have to be held together for - or, it just may be that I am missing Tom.


Written sometime in 2008