Confession - Holiness in the Wings

Confession - Holiness in the Wings

by Terry Fenwick 

There is a beautiful little Church in Menlo Park, California where my husband and I often go for Confession on Saturday morning.  We are new Catholics and Confession is a beautiful part of our new faith.  Church of the Nativity has 24/7 Adoration and there is always a sweetness of the Presence of the Lord.  AM Confession is scheduled from 10 to 12 noon.  The line is always long; we are often there until after 12:30, yet people are still waiting when we leave.  There seems to be no hurry . . . as it should be. So many young people, young adults, families, young couples who date, children or just adults -- all coming to draw closer to God -- one by one.

Last week I had the most beautiful experience -It was not only about my own Confession this time.  I normally spend some time preparing for Confession, returning to confess the same besetting sins and discovering newfound sins, then I move over to the far side aisle where we stand in line for our time with the priest, and our LORD, who is always waiting. Because of a leg injury, I cannot stand for long periods of time. When I move to the side aisle I usually stand until I am tired and then sit, move back as the line moves, standing in my 'spot' then sitting again. 

This last Saturday there was a young father, about 40,  and his son, about 14, in the line directly behind me. They are the reason for my story.  I moved along with them as the line progressed - always standing and sitting near them. I was reading my book on Confession by Hahn and looking at my notes written in the margins - still preparing for Confession and Reconciliation.

From time to time I would notice this father and son. I was about one arm's length from them.  I could have touched the father.  Instead, he touched me.

The father was reading a book on Joan of Arc; the son had the Magnificat and something else. They were quiet - respectfully silent. Although the son was not distracting, I was aware of his movement as he was checking the stain glass windows with his fingers.  Once he asked his father something and he nodded - the boy left the building and returned. The line had not moved.  There was an exchange of a whispered word or two between the father and boy, a knee jab or three, a smile, an "almost" wink and yet they were about the business of waiting respectfully. You could sense such sweetness in their relationship. I was physically very close to them, sitting or standing. 

Time passed, a long time, without any of us moving, then - the most beautiful thing happened.  It just happened! The father put his book down close to me, looked upward, and then dropped quietly to his knees in the small side aisle by my seat. He was inches from me.     

I caught my breath.  It was lovely. The young father covered his face with his hands - and I found I was caught in his realm of prayer.  Literally. I was so close to this father that I felt the Spirit as we were both encompassed in the bubble. I could not look away; I would not have tried to move away.

I could hardly breathe.  The father rubbed his face with his hands.  I have no idea how long this time was - I am sure the heavens stood still. Then I looked up and saw the young son looking at his father - not in amazement - but looking at his father seeing a holy man.  I thought to myself, "Young man, you will never forget this moment.  You will never forget this man you call "Dad” as long as you live.  You will tell your children of this man and your children's children of this man.   You are blessed!"

At that moment I believe my life changed forever. I am not sure yet exactly what happened to me in all of this but I know something happened to me.  It became part of my Confession . . . the seeking for holiness.  I was strongly aware that holiness begins inside a man or woman.  Holiness has to work inside you before you begin the journey from holiness to Godliness.  This time, I actually felt it through another person.  I was “caught” in the holiness of another. 

I thought of those words of God, "Be ye holy as I am holy."  It is a command.  "Be ye holy as I am holy.” It can be done - we are told to do this.  The world makes no difference - people make no difference - situations make no difference - you drop to your knees before the Father – just as this father did - you drop to your knees and experience holiness.  It is only about you and God.  Nothing keeps you away.  Nothing else matters -  "Be ye holy as I am holy."

December 10, 2005

As Technical as a Blind Cat

I never worry about how intelligent I am.  I am happy with that part of my life.  However,  I have been on the computer for as long as anyone I know personally (except our one son, Christopher, who taught me how to plug in the computer, turn it on, and make it go.)  Well, he actually put a program in for me called Hypercard and then I put in Hyper Bible.  I think it was back in 1989.  In all that time I have discovered I am totally not technical. Actually I think I am about as technical as a blind cat.


I have this hunt and peck method of using a computer and, if I want something enough, I can make it work.  I learned how to "do" the stock market and trade stocks.  I learned how to go into stock rooms,  find great (brilliant and experienced) stock people and started my own stock room.  I learned how to shop and to shop and to shop.  I have mastered amazon.com and I think I could buy things wearing blinders.


Google was the best thing of all as I learned I can heal any disease, find out about which muscle I pulled,  and why, what cream or salve will or won't heal it, and where to buy it in bulk, discovered castor oil helps neuropathy, discovered blood pressure medicine can cause neuropathy, found out what happened to my favorite movie stars, found Netflix and ordered movies;   discovered everything I ever wanted to know, when I wanted to know it,  everything about Catholicism - even can be pointed to the entire Catechism in seconds!  There is nothing I cannot discover.  So you see, I can learn.


Facebook was a piece of cake and I had photo albums the first night.  But that is the 'easy' stuff.  Even when someone throws Latin at me, in a second, I can see that Et in saecula saeculorum means "for ages of ages: forever and ever." That is not technical, but a blog is technical.


We have a Daughter-in-Love, Beth,  who is married to the same Christopher, see above. Beth will answer questions for me any time I need something, is always willing to come and help with a new computer and/or a very, very sick one.  We are not at all alike.  I could almost drive her crazy saving four (yes 4) copies of almost everything yet,  Beth has still been available.  She shakes her head often but she finally has allowed me to be insecure and keep multiple copies.  She no longer wants to know why I THINK I need all those copies.  She does not even care.

However, to do a blog, was not going to work.  Beth and Chris are both more advanced and, although I wanted a great blog, and an advanced one, there was no way I could ever handle an advanced blog. That was easy to see.  I began by telling you I was not worried about my intelligence - I knew better than to go advanced.  Pretty wise.  Quite bright. 

When trying the fancy advanced blog, I did not understand what I was doing, nor how I was doing it, nor why I was doing it.  That is important for me when I am learning.  I don't need to know how the computer is doing "it"  but how I am doing "it" is a must.  I knew I had to learn in order to have a blog. I just had to learn something that was easy.  Really easy.  So as of today, you are seeing exactly what I have learned - hunt and peck.  

Tomorrow?  I may have to learn all over again.  But here we go.  

terry fenwick - Saint in Training is officially launched. 

FIND YOUR OWN CALCUTTA

Find Your Own Calcutta - Blessed Mother Teresa

"Stay where you are. Find your own Calcutta. Find the sick, the suffering and the lonely right there where you are -- in your own homes and in your own families, in your workplaces and in your schools. ... You can find Calcutta all over the world, if you have the eyes to see. Everywhere, wherever you go, you find people who are unwanted, unloved, uncared for, just rejected by society -- completely forgotten, completely left alone."

Blessed Mother Teresa

FRIENDS IN HIGH PLACES

Friends in High Places

by Terry Fenwick

As new Catholic Christians, my husband and I came from a very strong Protestant Christian background. You well might imagine we had a lot of stunned friends when we made the move. We were in our seventies. Yes, 70 and 76.

We both had been devout Christian leaders in well-known interdenominational international Bible Studies and very active in our Christian Churches. We were trusted by other members of the faith because of our interdenominational work. Many of these loving friends, who had trusted us, shook their heads for a long time when they heard us say, "We are going to become Catholics!" and then disappeared. Totally disappeared for the most part. Wonderful friends, I might add. Not just acquaintances. Friends we worshiped with, shared our faith with, vacationed with, dined with, traveled with - great friends. Because I am an extrovert, and extroverts simply can't handle losing friends, it was more sad for me than it was for my husband. Extroverts want everyone to like us!

Tom and I both knew many of those in our family, as well as these other great friends, would have difficulty accepting our decision. Even we had been taken by surprise. We had never once considered becoming Catholic. However, by the time we told them of our decision, we were on our way to the One Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church and we were positive it was a call of GOD. There was no way we could consider anything but heeding His call. There was no turning back from the truth we had finally found.

In the beginning we had angry emails and calls but we just prayed that time would do the healing. We had no idea how God would fill the gap for us after losing these close friends. Fill the gap He did! Still leaving room for the old friends to return, He gave us, not only Catholic friends with skin on but He gave us these other wonderful new friends - Friends in High Places - the Saints! We had not known about the Saints and their realness. What a surprise!

What a joy they are to us! We have our favorite Saints, of course, but I determined I needed to study about all of them and their lives, as one day, not too far away from now, we will be meeting them and I want to say to them, "Monica! I have loved knowing you and asking for you to beseech the Lord for me for my son!" I know a lot about St. Monica and her son St. Augustine, but I realized that I may know only a line or two about many of the Saints. When the day comes I meet St. John Cardinal Henry Newman and only know that one line, "To be deep in history, is to cease to be a Protestant!" it might be embarrassing. So I have decided to fill my life with these Saints who will greet me one day saying, "We are so glad you became Catholic!" Right now I ask them to pray for my friends who are still shaking their heads! I think when I meet these friends in high places they will actually say to me, "We prayed for you and Tom. Some Catholic 'aquaintances' of yours asked us to pray for you since you were always seeking more of God in different churches. They knew you both really loved the Lord!" How great is this? I say, "Very great!" I love my new friends.

Who are your favorite Saints? Choose 1 or 10 who know your weaknesses. Try St. Augustine for lust! If you are a mother in need for prayer for your children, meet St. Monica. There is a Saint who understands each and every concern you have and, since they are in high places with the Great Intercessor Jesus, they will be praying for you, too. The Saints, having once been just regular men and women, have been where you are in need and would love to pray for you. What a prayer group we have in heaven! Jesus, the Blessed Mother, and all the Saints and Angels.

Terry Fenwick (2/3/04 date we entered into full Communion with the Community of Saints!)

"The Glory of God is a human being fully alive!” St. Irenaeus, the great second-century theologian

" But they do have donut holes . . . "

by Terry Fenwick on Saturday, December 18, 2010

We raised our 7 sons in a strong Christian home and most of the guys were believing Christians. When we became Catholic, some of them said they could not see how we did this. "This" being how we could possibly ever become Catholic!!!! Today we do have one son who is close and we have one Daughter-in-Love, Christine, who was a cradle Catholic, left the Church for a time, but came back later when Tom and I came into Full Communion.

I do have the best story to tell you about Christine. Do you have a minute? She is the Daughter-in-Love from Boston who came out to California and met Jon. She and Jon fell fast for each other. Jon brought her to our home one evening, unannounced, with advanced warning that his parents were very strong Christians and his Mother would give her a Bible but, "just take it." Laughing. Well, she was such an extrovert - the first time she came - I did not mention GOD or anything - and when they left she said, "Your Mother must not have liked me" and when Jon asked why, she said, "She didn't suggest anything about giving me a Bible." He assured her that it would happen. Of course, it did.

Time went on and Christine liked me, knew I taught the Bible and wanted to come to visit our class. She came just for my lecture - complete with a yellow legal pad. She sat down front during the lecture and took copious notes. She was impressed with the lecture because she felt I spoke like I knew all the Disciples in person and had dinner with them. Christine is really bright and she decided she wanted to study so she read up on what she should use to do a proper Bible study. I was excited, of course, about that and I told her I either had duplicates to give or would buy her everything - and I did. She loved it. She didn't come to our class because it was a day class and she had a job.

Then, and this is the reason for this story, Christine wanted to visit our church. By this time Tom and I were at one of the last and final Protestant churches. We did not know that. It was a former Baptist gone "seeker senstive" church, and had NO worship at all. NONE. It had wonderful people who loved the Lord, but it had no worship. Tom and I were both involved in big studies and did teaching and Regional Directing and Training for classes so we had our studies and were busy with the Word of God. Too busy to notice a lot of things.

So finally this one day Christine and Jon came to visit our church. They had come early between services and had coffee and snacks before they moved into the sanctuary (which you would not call a sanctuary - nor did they - it was more like an auditorium.) Tom came down from a Sunday School class and slid in by Jon and I came in and slid in alongside Christine. The music was playing and everyone was singing. Happy place and very nice people. Christine was loving it but she turned to me, whispered and said, "They don't have kneelers," and I whispered, "No, and they never will." She nodded. Then she turned toward me again, whispered and said, "They don't do the Our Father." and I whispered, "No, and they never will." and then she said something that made all the difference in the world to me; Christine hit it on the head. Christine whispered, "But they do have donut holes."

WOW!!!! No worship, no kneelers, no Our Father, "but they do have donut holes." My words back to her? Guess what they were? I said "And they always will."

So there you go - the little Cradle Catholic from Boston witnessed in a way she knew not - she said what was missing and all that we had "had a hole in it."

I never forgot it. It was like getting a tattoo. It would not go away.



Holiness

or Donut Holes